If you could read my mind, love
by Angel of True Hope
Summary: Sakura's hairstyle change incident gives her telepathy ability. What would happen if she read our boys, Sasuke and Naruto's mind. Find out yourself. SasuNaru. Major Sakura bashing. Don't read if you are Sakura's fan. A bit of innuendo.


-1**If you could read my mind, love. **

**A/N: **Okay, this one-shot is full of Sakura bashing. The muses inside my head was kicking the living crap out of me at work today. All these ideas for this fiction rushed through my head. Normally I don't hate Sakura. The only time I want to choke the life out of her is when I read a fiction that in SasuNaru section but it contains SasuSaku. There is something about that couple grosses me out so much that it kills my libido. For that, Sakura must pay, since Sasuke is so damn sexy to get mad at. Enough of my ranting, on with the story.

**Warning: **Major Sakura bashing. I am sorry if you are a Sakura's fan and you are reading this. "cries" Please forgive me! Yaoi sexual innuendoes

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any characters that belong to Naruto's creator(s).

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It was a perfect morning. The kind of morning where there was a lot of fresh air, a gentle and calm wind, the birds were singing, and the sun was shining lightly and warm. Our favorite (cough cough) pink cockroach was getting ready for its meeting at the bridge with its teammates and sensei, who was always late. Sakura said to itself that today is the day, the day where she will confess her love to SUPER SEXY Sasuke, like always, and he will return the same feeling back (cough cough as if). So instead of the usual hairstyle, the pink-haired girl decided to pull her hair up in a ponytail style, like her best friend/rival, Ino-Pig. 

Now because of the ponytail style, she had revealed its enormous forehead. Through this revelation, she had discovered a new ninja ability. She could read other people mind. Yep that's right, telepathy because of enormous forehead. However, because this was a bit too new for it, the chakra control was out of wack for our cockroach. Sakura was forced to hear everyone's thoughts, some that she shouldn't even listening to.

Sakura's mother, Mrs. Haruno, knocked gently on its door.

"Sakura, it's almost time for your meeting with your team, are you ready?"

"Yes Mother, give me a minute." She called out to the woman outside of the room. After a minute or so, she appeared in front of Mrs. Haruno.

"How do I look, Mother?"

"Very beautiful." But it was different inside the woman's head. _'Oh. My. Kami-sama. That's a BIG forehead.'_

"Did you say something, Mother?"

"No. I didn't say anything." The woman gave the girl a weird look.

"I thought I heard you said something about my forehead."

"No I didn't, silly cockroach. I mean girl." _'Damn how did she hear my thought?'_

"Are you sure?"

"Are you calling me a liar?" The woman got pissed off right now. _'Must take evasive action.' _

"No ma'am." Sakura didn't want her mother to get piss off, it wouldn't be pretty. But she was very happy that she could read people mind. Now she could find out Sasuke's true feeling for her. She was 100 sure that he is in love with her but wouldn't admit it (cough cough).

Mrs. Haruno looked at the girl strangely. _'Sometime I wonder why is her hair pink…I mean I don't have pink hair, neither is her father…or anyone in our family…Although I recalled the time before I got pregnant, there was this life size Trolls with huge eyes, forehead and funky pink hairdo…Oh shit.'_

Sakura was out of the house when the woman pondered her birth and her true father.

When she got to the bridge where her team usually meet, she saw SUPER ADORABLE Naruto and Sasuke were coming there also. This was dampening her spirit a bit because she was expecting to be alone with Sasuke, but now Naruto also there too, it might be a bit tough, but being a heartless tramp she was, after a few seconds of meeting with her Inner Sakura. She couldn't care less about Naruto.

"Ah, Good morning Sakura-chan." Said the cheerful blond. But inside his mind… _'Holy shit, that's a BIG forehead.'_

Sakura could felt the vein on her forehead popping but she couldn't not being weird in front of Sasuke, and she also couldn't reveal to them that she can read their mind. She gave Naruto a nodded, but as she tried to talk to Sasuke, she got interrupted by the prankster.

"Sakura-chan, wanna go out with me on a date later today?" It seemed like a repetitive thing for Naruto, however, today Sakura found out something totally different. _'Kami-sama, please say no, please say no, I don't wanna hang out with that giant forehead the whole day.'_

She was extremely mad, but she had to keep her cool for Sasuke. "No Naruto. You wouldn't want to hang out with my forehead anyway." She gave the boy a dirty look, Naruto returned back with a confused look.

"Good morning Sasuke-kun." Sakura's cheeks blushed as she gave Sasuke a dreamy look.

"Hn." Sasuke replied. _'Is it me or her forehead is bigger than usual?' _Sakura wanted to cry at this point, but she always took verbal abuse from Sasuke, this was nothing for her. So not willing to give up, she regained her courage.

"Sasuke-kun, there is a good movie at the theater tonight, do you want to go with me?" She said nervously.

"No thanks." A cold reply from the boy of her dream. _'No thanks.'_

Her world was shattered like a sledgehammer smashed a tiny piece of ice cube.

"Oi dobe." Sasuke's attention now focused on the blond angel near him. 'Good morning Naru-chan, my cute kitsune."

"Don't call me that Sasuke-teme!" Translated to 'Good morning Sasuke-kun, my sexy avenger.'

"Whatever. Do you wanna go spar before Kakashi show up?" The Uchiha asked, he raised a single elegant arched eyebrow at Naruto. 'Come on Naru-chan, I wanna grope your hot ass.'

"Fine teme, prepare to lose." Naruto said with great enthusiasm, winking at Sasuke. 'Don't be surprise when I grab your package accidentally, Sasuke-kun.'

Sakura went into a shock, her eyes widened. "Sasuke-kun…and Naruto…? NOOOO!!!!!" Her scream was loud enough that the birds got literally pissed off at her. So a whole flock of different type of birds flew at her and dropped their poop on her precious pink hair. Sasuke and Naruto ran to Sakura when they heard the scream to see what's wrong with the girl.

"Sakura-chan.." Naruto held in his laugh. "What's wrong?" _'Hahaha, she got shitted on by birds.' _

Sasuke just looked at the girl with no pity. _'That's what you get for being mean to my Naru-chan.'_

"AHHHHHHH! I can't take this anymore!!" Sakura screamed, her perfect day was officially ruined.

Sasuke and Naruto gave the kunoichi a WTF look.

'_Cuckoo cuckoo.'_

'_Mental ward's escaped patient.' _

The girl shot both boys a nasty glare. "I can read your minds, morons!"

"Oh shit." Naruto said.

"Hn." 'I couldn't care less.'

"I don't understand any of this! I thought you guys hate each other, but why are you guys talking all sweet like lovers in your minds? AHHHH!!"

Sasuke almost slap the girl to stop her annoying high pitch voice. "Sakura, first off, shut the hell up. Your voice is bugging the shit out of me." Sakura could tell he was telling the truth, so she got quiet, she wanted to cry because the boy of her dream was being cruel to her.

"Second, Naru-chan and I are lovers. We've been for a while."

"Yeah Sakura…" Naruto placed in his input now. "We didn't want to hurt your feelings, but now you found out the hard way."

"WHY????" She screamed again.

"You're the reason why, Sakura." Said the raven-haired teen who is hugging the blond boy now and kissing his nape, they both looked really happy together. The sight was like a devastating blow to the girl. "You've turned me gay."

Naruto nodded. "Yep, we're gay with each other because of you."

"NOOO!!! That isn't true. I have turned two boys gay. NOOO!!!"

"It is true, I was nice to you when I first met you. But after a while, I found out what a cold and heartless bitch you are. The only one that acknowledge me and care for me in a loving and intimate way is my Sasuke-kun." Naruto kissed his lover on the lips.

"Yeah.." Sasuke stared at the crying girl. "For being the most observant and smartest member on the team, you seem to be pretty dumb enough to not notice the flirting between us."

Sakura couldn't take it anymore, the insults, the bird poops, she got up and ran away and vow to never read anyone's mind again. Before that she ran into Kakashi. The jounin looked down at her. _'Oh my, what a uniquely large forehead.' _She got up and ran again.

"Sasuke, I felt sorry for her." Naruto said. "I was gonna ask her if she want to have threesome with us."

"Ewww, why would you do that? Think of naked Sakura." Sasuke said with a disgust. Naruto closed his eyes for few seconds then. 3..2..1

"EWWW You're right, that's disgusting. I think thinking of her naked killed my erection." Naruto lamented.

"Moron, think of something else."

_'Ramen…no, nothing. Sasuke…mmm, sexy Sasuke. His skin is delicious as milk. Nice strong arms. Toned body. Mmmm nice legs too. Sasuke's shorts…Sasuke's big throbbing juicy d…'_

_'Itachi…ewww…The dobe…He is so tan, he tastes as sweet as honey, but intoxicating. His pouted kissable lips. His nice abs, his perky pink nipples..Sweet nice round hot ass…'_

The two boys looked at each other lustfully. Before Sasuke knew it, he was being dragged by the hand, Naruto was pulling on him toward his house.

"Come on Sasuke-kun, we're gonna try out the new toys I just bought over the weekends." Sasuke smirked and followed along, whatever his dobe got he will still make sure that the blond can't walk for a week.

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**A/N: **Now I hope my muses would stop bothering me at the wrong time. Anyway, hope you enjoyed reading me on crack. Even though I am not really on it and I have never try it. O.o ciao! 


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